It’s my blog, so if I want to write posts about imaginary pigs, you can bet I’m going to. For everyone who acts immature on the internet, I’m sure not going to feel self-conscious about acting childish on it.

To be fair, Cloven Snowsnout isn’t actually an imaginary pig, he’s just not a real pig. I was never much of a stuffed-animal girl when I was little, so I’m finding it rather remarkable how much joy I’m reaping out of a little plushy pig. After countless years of ragdolls that were inevitably squished into two-dimensional, doll-shaped, sheets of condensed cotton I’m finding it refreshingly neat to cuddle something so plush. He was a birthday gift last week from an old friend who’s worked in a toy store the past few years and always brings me the sweetest birthday presents. Last night she called me up and asked if I was feeling adventurous, and when I said yes, she told me to bring rainboots and an extra pair of pants. We end up wading out into Lake Washington polar-bear style, losing my good coat, eating Girl Scout cookies, and heading to Denny’s for late night chocolate-smothered pancakes and quesadillas. So that should give you some context when it comes to who this pig-gifter is.

I named him Cloven Snowsnout, and not without purpose. Look at his hooves. He’s got cloven hooves. How often does a toy manufacturer go out of their way to make sure a pigs’ feet cleaves apart? This little darling could be used as an educational aid when explaining Jewish dietary restrictions. I was very impressed with that. His last name comes from the fact that he looks kind of like a snow leopard. There aren’t pigs out there in the real world like this. Google image “spotted pig.” The majority of the results will be some ritzy restaurant in New York. Even the images you get of actual white-and-black-spotted creatures will show you that pigs simply don’t have so many distinct little spots. He looks like a snow leopard with a snout, ergo Snowsnout. I like to think that makes him a very brave piggy. Maybe I should knight him. Sir Cloven Snowsnout has a really neat ring to it.

__________________This post has been brought to you today by Audrey’s inner child. For more information on inner children, go splash in a puddle and look for the simple things that make you happiest.