“If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough.” – Lowell Lundstrum
I don’t know who he is, I just know he’s right. Sometimes the only thing that tells me that I’m still on the right track is that I am deathly afraid of what is coming my way. It all seems to be hitting me faster than I can process it, even though I’m taking months to go through the whole process. My literary agency responded in January. We signed a contract in September. The Crystalline Princess will be released on February 14th.
It terrifies me. What if I don’t build up a big enough following before then, what if we don’t sell enough copies of the ebook? What if everything goes exactly opposite of how we planned it? It feels almost sinful to worry and fret when I’m so far ahead of so many others. I’ve got the agent, I’ve got the ebook deal. I always thought that was the hard part.
Here’s the thing though: the whole thing is the hard part. It’s called life and it is a hard part.
How do you convince the world you are worth investing in, worth reading, worth paying attention to, when some days you doubt it even yourself? I’m petrified by a question I cannot answer…so I must be on the right track.